Hot Off The Press
by Orange Sherbet
Summary: All Sakura Haruno wanted was to be able to write for her school newspaper. What she got, though, was much more than expected. Will she be able to handle the boys she has to work with?
1. Break Your Heart

**Hot Off The Press**

_**Break Your Heart**_

_221, 222, 223, 224, 225..._

Why couldn't they just put an elevator in this place? It's not like we don't get enough exercise just running back and forth from classes.

_226, 227, 228, 229, 230..._

And did they really have to make the rooms so far apart? It's five in the morning. I don't want to be wandering around campus like a lost kitten, I want to be in my new room sleeping.

_231, 232..._

Here it is. Room 233.

I let out a relieved sigh. It took at least two hours of walking to find this room. Now it was time to face the real challenge; Getting into the room.

I could just knock, but what if my roommate was one of those deep sleepers and didn't wake up? Or worse, what if she was the type who got mad when someone woke her up?

Either way, I was getting into that room. Nothing would stand in my way.

I knocked softly on the door. No answer. I knocked again, more roughly this time. The sound of light footsteps in the room caught my attention. I pressed my ear against the door.

The footsteps came closer to the door, and then, without any warning at all, the solid oak door slammed open. The side of my head that had been pressed against the door was hit full force, and a blue bruise was beginning to form below my eye. _Damn. First day of school, and I'm aready being used for target practice. _

"Omygosh! Are you okay? I'm so sorry!" I tilted my head up to see who said that. To my surprise, a girl with long blonde hair hovered above me, looking both worried and apologetic.

"Hello? Can you hear me? Do you need ice?" She asked, her ocean blue eyes focusing on the bruise on my cheek. It was throbbing like hell.

"Yeah, ice would be great. By the way, who are you?" I asked. My cheek was beginning to swell, and it was making it hard to talk normally.

"Okay, hold one, I'll go to the nurse. Oh, and I'm Ino Yamanaka. Sorry I hit you with the door." She said. Ino ran off before I could say anything else, and I pushed myself up and dragged my bags into room 233. _This is going to be a long year._

"So what's your name?" Ino asked me once she came back from the nurse. I had already explained to her that I was her new roomate, and tranferred here from Hidden Mist Academy.

I blushed, realizing I should've told her this a while ago. "Sakura Haruno. Nice to meet you." I smiled.

Ino grinned back at me. "So why did you transfer?" She asked, curiously eyeing my simple black luggage bags.

"My parents wanted me to. They said I needed to 'branch out' and make more friends. I guess they were just worried about me." I said carefully.

"Did you have trouble making friends at your old school? Wow, I'd just _die_if I didn't have my friends!" Ino exclaimed.

"No, at least, I don't think I did. But my parents thought I needed a change, so...here I am." I shrugged. She didn't need to know _all _the details.

"Oh." Ino nodded, and a comfortable silence filled the room. "Well, I need my beauty sleep if I'm going to be presentable for the first day of school, so good night."

I nodded to her as she padded over to her side of the room, which included a bed, make-up smeared vanity, and a lamp.

Ino snuggled back into her light blue bed sheets. After about ten minutes, I decided it was safe to put on my pajamas and take in my new dorm room. It was furnished just like a hotel suite; The carpet was plush and champagne colored, the walls were painted a soft ivory, a bed was snuggled into each side of the room, and cozy gold/brown sheets lay untouched on top of each bed. It looked clean and crisp, as if a maid came in and cleaned it daily.

Knowing this place, it was without a doubt possible.

The blaring of Ino's alarm clock woke me up at 5 a.m. the next morning.

"I'm only gonna break break your, break break your heart! I'm only gonna-"

"Ino!" I interrupted her off-tune sing-a-long with the radio.

"Yes?" She asked, looking at me innocently. It took all my strength not to murder her then and there.

"Could you, maybe, be a little quieter?" I asked sweetly.

Ino grinned at me. "Nope!" she chirped.

"Why not?" I asked through gritted teeth. How _dare _this girl interrupt my slumber.

"Because it's time to get up!" she said happily. "You'll want to get a head start on your make-up and hair on your first day."

I checked my digital clock. 5:04. "Who needs two hours to get ready for school?" I asked incredulously.

Ino looked at me as if I had just told her I was an undercover ninja who could lift boulders and could heal people with chakra. "Who doesn't?" she asked seriously.

I gave up after that. I'd need some extra time to find my classes anyway.

I climbed out of bed and grabbed my shower basket. It held my shampoo, conditioner, body wash, face wash, exc. and made my way to the girl's showers.

The bathroom was much like the dormrooms in design. It had six large showers and toilet stalls, and all of it was either gold, brown, ivory, or champagne colored. Even the toilet paper.

I stripped off my clothes and left them under a towel I had grabbed from a cart (there must be a maid around pushing that. I was right). There was nobody else in the bathroom because of how early it was. That was good. I didn't like being around starngers.

Maybe they had a writing club here, I thought while I showered. Even better if they had a school newspaper. I'd been the editor and detective journalist back at my old school. But not alot of people wanted to join the paper, so maybe it was different here.

I emerged from the shower ten minutes later smelling like strawberry body wash (Suave Kids. Don't judge me unless you hate strawberries with a passion) and Garnier Fructis shampoo and conditioner.

Grabbing my brush and hair tie out of my suitcase, I noticed how out of place my simple lugage bag looked in the posh bathroom. I really hoped this place wasn't full of snobs. I'd never survive.

Carefully brushing my long pink hair until all the knots were out, I took out my hair tie and pulled it into a loose ponytail. I left my bangs out and let them frame my face. This is how I did my hair every morning, there was just no point leaving it down when it would just get in my face and bother me.

Back in the room, Ino was busy putting on ten pound of make-up. I wondered if that weighed her face down, but wasn't stupid enough to ask.

I went over the suitcase I had packed my clothes in pulled out a pair of worn jeans, my favorite belt (white fabric), and a light green T-shirt.

Throwing on the outfit, I noticed Ino had stopped layering on make-up and was (oh-so-rudely) staring at me. "What?" I asked.

"Is that what you're wearing on the first day of school?" I rolled my eyes. Ino was such a _girl_.

"Yes it is, oh stylish one." I told her. Then looked around for my white converse. I _had_ brought them, right?

Ino didn't reply, and I guessed that she was too stunned to speak. Great, my roommate thinks I dress like a hobo.

There were my converse! I must have pushed them under the bed last night when I went to sleep. I grabbed them from where they lay innocently and shoved them on my feet. The laces were already tied because I was too lazy to untie them last night.

"I'm going down to breakfast, later." I waved goodbye to Ino, but she grabbed my shoulder.

"Sakura, you can't go to school like that!" She exclaimed. The poor girl looked tortured.

"Why not?" Humor me, Ino. Please.

"It's your first day! At least put some make-up on!" She put her hand on her hip, and I realized I wasn't getting out of this room until I agreed with her.

But that didn't mean I would. "No. now give me back my shoulder." I said.

"No." Ino said. And I decided it would be easier to just give in. I needed to grow a backbone.

"Fine. But I'm not putting on ten pounds of make-up." I sighed.

I dug in my suitcase and yanked out the little blue pouch I rarely used. Then, for the first time this year, (It's November right now, I transferred in the middle of the school year. Thanks, mom and dad!) grabbed the eyeliner, mascara, and lip gloss out of it and spread very little of each on my face.

"Happy now?" I asked Ino, who had be supervising me with a victorious smile on her face. Bitch.

"Very," She smiled and led our way out of the room and to the dining room. Which, I realized, I probably never would've been able to find without her leading me there.


	2. Boys Boys Boys

**Hot Off The Press**

_**Boys Boys Boys**_

I followed Ino into the dining hall, and then waited in line with her. After we got our food, Ino walked over to a table of people who I decided must be her friends.

"Guys, this is Sakura. She just transferred here from Hidden Mist Academy." Ino introduced me. I blushed and smiled at them sheepishly.

"Hey," a brunette girl with her hair pulled up into two buns atop her head said to me as I sat down. "My name is Tenten." I grinned at her. "Sakura Haruno, but you already knew that." I said, blushing stupidly. Tenten giggled.

The brunette motioned to the people on either side of us. "That's Hinata Hyuga and this is Temari." She said, pointing to a pale girl with long dark hair and a girl with her hair in four spikey ponytails.

"H-hi," I said, cursing myself for stuttering. The Hinata girl smiled sympathetically at me, and Temari just nodded.

"Thanks for including me Tenny." A girl with wild red hair suddenly interrupted. Tenten grinned sheepishly and pointed at the girl. "That's Karin," she said.

"Don't mind her," Ino cut in "she's a bitch." 'Karin' halfheartedly glared at her blonde friend.

I giggled at thier antics. They were so different than what I expected. I thought girls here would be stuck up and mean, and wouldn't even bother to talk to me. I was so off-base about them.

"Oh my God!" Ino suddenly gasped, and I looked up to see her pointing towards the cafeteria entrance.

I was about to ask her what the hell she was pointing at, but Tenten poked my shoulder and nodded towards where Ino was pointing.

There, walking into the dining hall like they owned it, where the coolest group of guys i had ever seen.

They were exactly what I expected rich kids to look like, with expensive clothes and perfect hair and out-of-this-world good looks. I could see why Ino had gasped when ahe saw them.

The first one I spotted had red hair and gray-blue eyes. He was walking next to a blonde guy with boyish good looks. The redhead wore an apathetic expression as the blonde chattered on and on about something with a tall guy who had white hair and insane purple eyes.

Next to purple eyes guy, a guy with black hair tied in a low ponytail was smirking at a guy with _blue skin_. I gaped at that guy for a second before a guy with orange hair and piercings all over his face caught my eye.

Behind the guy with orange hair, a guy wearing a mask was eagerly talking to another guy with green hair and two different skin tones. Next to him, a guy with green eyes was walking cockily behind the blonde dude.

It took me a full minute to get myself under control and to stop gaping at the mysterious group. Luckily, I wasn't the only one. Ino was openly staring at them, Hinata was blushing furiously, as well as every other girl in the cafeteria.

I turned to Tenten, who was defiently looking down at her food. "Who are they?" i whispered.

Unfortunatly for me, it wasn't Tenten who answered. Instead, a husky voice whisped in my ear "We're the Akatsuki, un. Who're you?"

The entire cafeteria grew silent, and I swear every girl in the dining hall was giving me the evil eye. I regained my composure, and turned to see who asked.

It was the blonde guy, the one who was chatting with the guy with purple eyes. He looke at me curiously, as if I had just asked how to burn water.

"Um..." I said. _Um? Seriously?_ I thought. Couldn't I have come up with something, oh, I don't know, _smarter_?

Blonde furrowed his eyebrows. "Your name is Um?" I nearly did a facepalm. This guy was like the boy version of Ino.

"No, my name is Sakura, and could you please back up?" I asked. To my right, I heard Hinata gasp. I guess I could be quiet blunt sometimes.

"Yeah, sure, un." He said, a bit embarrassingly, and went back to his friends, who were already seated at a table near the middle of the cafeteria.

As soon as he left, Ino immediately jumped me. "Do you know who that _was_?" She exclaimed.

"No." I said, and started on my pancakes.

Ino stared at me like I had just been lit on fire. I fought the urge to shove a pancake in her face.

"That was Deidara, and the redhead he was walking with was Sasori." Temari, for the first time since I sat down, spoke. I suppose she had deemed me worthy of her presence.

"And the others?" I asked, honestly curious.

"The blue one was Kisame, the one with the ponytail was Itachi Uchiha, the one with white hair was Hidan, the orange haired one was Pein, the greened eyed one was Kakuzu, the guy with green hair was Zetsu, and the one wearing the mask was Tobi." Temari finished, looking slightly digusted.

"They're the Akatsuki," Ino jumped in "their the members of the school newspaper."

That surprised me. _They're writers? _I'd been planning on becoming the school newspaper's creative writer, but if they already have enough members...I guess not.

"Oh." I said sadly. I looked out the window at the lucious garden that was the Academy's front yard. How did they even call this place a school? It was beautiful.

Me and the rest of the girls finished our breakfast and headed off to class. I had compared my schedule with all of them and found out my only class with Ino was Chemistry, Tenten and Hinata were in my History class, and Temari was in my gym and English class. I didn't have any of them in my first period, which was math.

"See you later!" I called to them as we parted ways. My classroom was on the first floor, and it would take some time to get there.

Pulling my pink sling backpack over my shoulder, I quickly walked towards the direction of my classroom.

Five minutes later, I stood in front of the door to Mrs. Mitarashi's (my math teacher) classroom.

I had just arrived last night, so I wasn't able to hear anything about my future math teacher from the other students. All I knew was that she was a senior level math teacher, and that I would be in a class of older students.

I took a deep breath and pushed the door open, almost screaming when I bumped into something (some_one_) hard.

"Ow!" I yelled, stepping back and clutching my head. I glared up at the thing that had blocked my way, only to find it was the redhead from this morning. What did Tenten say his name was? Sasori, I think.

"Sorry." Sasori said emotionlessly. He turned awy from me and walked back to his desk. I didn't know where my seat was, so I just stood there awkwardly, still rubbing my (not too big) forehead.

"Good morning, magets!" A woman with spikey purple hair tied up in a ponytail said as she entered the classroom. She looked like the king of lady who road a Harley and drank ten cans of beer a night.

"Today, we're going to cover-who are you and why the hell are you in my classroom?" She asked, turning on me.

I blushed (of course) and introduced myself. "I'm Sakura Haruno, your new student."

She studied me for a minute, then stuck out her hand. "Anko Mitarashi. Welcome to my class." I shook her hand, and was surprised to find she had a rather gental grip.

"Why don't you sit between Sasori and Sasuke." Anko said, motioning towards the Akatsuki member and a boy with spikey blue hair shaped kind of like a chicken's butt.

I did as told and sat between them, pulling a pencil out of my backpack.

"You're Ino's new roomate." Sasuke stated. I looked up at him and nodded.

"Sakura Haruno." I introduced myself, sticking out my hand.

"Hn. I know your name." He said, completely ignoring my outstreched hand.

"Aren't you going to shake my hand?" I asked, irritated. He didn't have to be so rude.

Sasuke looked at me, as though judging me, and shook my hand. After we let go, he smirked at me and turned towards the board.

I must be blushing, I thought. His smirk was insanely hot.

I listened to Anko go on and on about graphs and stuff, and almost screamed when a balled up piece of paper fell on my desk. It ad seemed to fall from the sky.

_what do you do when your boobs itch?_ It read, and I wondered who the hell threw this at me. I looked around the room, and caught Sasori staring at me. He nodded towards a blue guy two seats ahead of him. _Kisame_ I remembered.

I smiled thanks at Sasori and looked back at the note. Why would he just randomly ask that? Either way, I still answered it.

_what do you do when your boobs itch?_

_**I take off my shirt and ask people to rub sandpaper on them. **_

Rereading the note, I decided I was satisfied with my answer and threw the re-balled up piece of paper back at Kisame, who snickered when he read it.

He jotted something down and threw the note back at me. I unballed it and read his reply:

_Any chance of you needing to itch them during this class?_

I wondered just what he was getting at, but kept sending the note back with replies. By the time the bell for second period rung, this is what the note read:

_what do you do when your boobs itch?_

_**I take off my shirt and ask people to rub sandpaper on them. **_

_ Any chance of you needing to itch them during this class?_

_**Don't get your hopes up.**_

___Whatever, pinky._

_**Don't call me that.**_

___It's your own falt for dying your hair pink._

_**IT'S NATURAL. And who are you to talk? You look like a smurf on steriods. **_

___That was a low blow. _

_**No, kicking you in the nuts would be a low blow. But you don't seem to have any. **_

___Rofl, you wound me pinky._

_**You're asking for it, smurf.**_

__I was about to reply when someone grabbed the abused piece of paper out of my hand.

"Hey!" I yelled as the rest of the class filed out of the room around me.

Sasori chuckled. "At least you can hold an entertaining conversation, pinky." He said, and handed me back the paper.

I watched him walk out with Kisame, who winked at me, and thought _What was that all about?_


	3. Into Your Arms

_ First of all, I'd like to thank all my reviewers :) you guys make it all worth while. I'm gonna warn you, from this point on, this story will be FILLED with fluff. There's only a little in this chapter though D: but I promis there will be plenty in the next chapters :D _

_Disclamer: I don't own Naruto. Poor me. _

**Hot Off The Press**

_**Into Your Arms**_

"Ino?" I asked, oh so sweetly, the next morning at breakfast.

"Yes?" Said blonde answred back, voice just as sugar-coated as mine.

"GET YOUR HAND OFF MY PANCAKE YOU PIG!" I shouted at her. Ino retracted her fork from my tray and glared at me.

"What?" I asked. She shouldn't be touching my pancake. Ino should know by now that I've got kick-ass ninja skillz.

"You didn't have to yell." She huffed.

"And maybe you should be eating your own breakfast." I said, looking at the half-eaten bagel on her plate.

Tenten giggled at our actions, and then took her tray and stood up. "The bells about to ring, I'll see you girls later." She said.

"Later Tenny, don't forget about our sleepover tonight!" Ino shouted exitedly. She looked like she was about to piss herself.

"Sleepover?" I questioned through a mouthfull of pancake.

"We're having a sleepover in our dorm tonight," Ino explained. "Temari, Hina, and Karin are coming to!"

"We do this every year." Temari added, also standing up. "You'll have fun."

I nodded, mouth still full. Ino suddenly turned to me with a stern look on her face.

"Don't think we're not going to grill you about your first day." She said. "Sasuke told me that you were passing notes with one of the Akatsuki yesterday in math."

Stupid chicken butt. I'll have to get revenge in class today. To bad the schedules switched everyday. So instead of math, I had art first period.

I was suddenly jolted back to reality by Hinata's soft voice.

"Um...H-haruno-san? Did you understand the essay assigment Mr. Hatake gave us y-yestday?" The dark-haired girl asked timidly.

I swear, she looked so helpless I wanted to hug the life out of her. But that might be deemed as inappropriate, so I just said "I already finished mine, butI can help you tonight."

"T-thank you, Haruno-s-san." Hinata smiled.

"No problem, and call me Sakura."

Hinata nodded and went off to class, and I figured eventually I would have to follow her.

Sighing deeply, I got up and checked my school map and compass. _Here goes nothing. _

After about ten minute of wandering around the school, I came to the conclusion that I was lost.

Why did they have to make this school so fucking big? It was like an academy on steriods. What kind of morals were they trying to teach these students?

"You lost, un?" A boyish, husky voice asked from behind me. _Where have I heard that voice before?_

Before I could figure it out, a pair of bright blue eyes were staring into my shocked green ones. "What the hell?" I screached, backing up as far as gravity would allow.

"Hey, you're the girl from the cafeteria, un!" Deidara said, pointing at me.

Apparently, blondie had no idea what personal space was, because he kept moving towards me while I was so obviously trying to walk away.

"Yeah, that's me." I said, finally backing up into a wall. _Crap!_ I thought.

Deidara practically pressed me against the wall, causing me to blush furiously. He put both his arms on either side of my body, caging me in.

_Um, personal space?_

"You know, you were kinda rude to me yesterday, un." Blondie said, leaning closer to my face.

"Um...well..." I trailed off, aimlessly trying to push him away.

Deidara opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off by the blaring voice coming out of the speakers.

"SAKURA HARUNO, REPORT TO THE PRINCIPLE'S OFFICE NOW." It said. I didn't hesitate to slip under Deidara's arm and scurry out of sight.

"Sorry sempai, I'll talk to you later!" I yelled back at him. I didn't dare look back at Deidara's face.

I shifted uncomfortably in the plastic chair the principle had ordered me to sit in.

"Sakura Haruno," the school principle, Tsunade, spoke. Tsunade was a tall woman, with huge boobs and honey brown eyes.

"Yes?" I asked timidly, feeling meak inside her gigantic office.

Tsunade swirveled around in her chair, facing me with a kind smile. "I read the report you turned in to Kakashi Hatake." she stated.

I nodded, because what else could I do? She called me down to her office just to tell me that? What kind of principle was she?

Tsunade sighed, making it obvious that I was missing something. "What I mean is, i read it because Kakashi said it was incredibly good." She leaned towards me, and whispered "Do you know how odd it is for Kakashi to be impressed by a student's work?"

I shook my head, not trusting myself to speak.

"I have a proposition for you," Tsunade continued, looking me right in the eye. She had such a pretty face, I wished I could be that beautiful.

Tsunade layed both her manicured hands down on the dark oak desk. "How would you like to join the school newspaper?" She asked.

I gaped at her, positive I looked like a fish. But I couldn't help it. It was as if she had just asked me to join an evil group of ninjas bent on taking over the world.

"What?" I finally said. Still dumbfounded.

"You heard me. The paper needs a creative writer, and those boys scare away all the other candidates." Tsunade informed me. "I figured since you were new, they hadn't gotten to you yet and I could convince you to join."

After Tsunade finished, she sat back in her chair and waited for to answer.

Join the club? From what she said, it sounded like the members would try to kill me. But Kisame was passing notes to me in math like we were old buddies, and Sasori hadn't tried to eat me. Deidara seemed nice enough, even if he did practically rape me in the hallway a moment ago.

Besides, I had wanted to join the paper, hadn't I? Why should I let a couple of moody teenage boys stop me from doing what I love?

I smiled at Tsunade, my mind made up. "I'd love to join."


	4. Just A Flirt

**Hot Off The Press**

_**Just A Flirt**_

"_WHAT?"_Ino exclaimed. She was shocked beyond belief, which was kind of insulting. I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at her.

"You heard me." I said.

"But-But-" Ino stuttered. "_Why?"_

I sighed. Was it really that hard to understand?

"Sakura, are you sure about this?" Tenten asked, and something about the way she asked it made me pause and look over at her.

"I already said yes, Tenny. There's no going back." The six of us (Me, Ino, Tenten, Hinata, Temari, Karin) were sitting in a tight circle on the floor of me and Ino's dorm room. Once everyone had arrived, I told them about Tsunade's offer. Ino was the first to respond.

"No. No. No. No No. No. No." Ino said, frantic. "This is bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. You!" She said, pointing at me. "You have no idea what you just did! You just gave yourself a death sentence!"

"Huh?" I asked, watching Ino flit around the room like a wild goose. she was making no sense. "Weren't you the one drooling over them just this morning?"

"Sakura," Temari said. "They may look nice on the outside, but trust me, they rule this school with an iron fist."

"The Akatsuki really don't like it when people try to join their group," Karin said, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose. "They've done some horrible stuff, Saku." Tenten put in.

I looked around at all of them, taking in each concerned face. "Like what?" I asked softly.

Nobody answered me.

An uneasy feeling started forming in the pit of my stomach. I should have known it was all too good to be true. After all, they were all so gorgeous, why should they let someone like me in their group?

This was going to be a long night.

"Hey, un, did you guys hear?" Deidara barged into Itachi and Kisame's dorm room, Sasori and the rest of the Akatsuki trailing in behind him.

"Hear what?" Kisame asked, looking up from the set of Pokemon cards he held in his hand. He had currently been debating using his pikachu against Itachi's onyx, but but now decided that that was a stupid move.

"We don't fucking know what. The blond bitch just barged into our dorms screaming about some freshman girl named Sakura." Hidan butted in.

"Sakura...Haruno?" Sasori questioned, still looking as apathetic as always.

"Yeah, un!" Deidara said, finally explaining why he had dragged all of the boys out of their snuggly warm beds and into Itachi's creepy looking dorm.

"I was passing the office today, and I heard Tsunade talking to some freshman girl. She said she wanted her to join the school newspaper as creative writer,"-Hidan cursed-"And the girl-Sakura-said yeah, un!" Deidara said all of this in one breath, which was impressive, even for him.

"Let's go show this fucking bitch who's boss around here!" Hidan said, already marching towards the door.

"Wait." Itachi said, comanding all eyes in the room to look at him. "Think about this for a second."

Itachi paused, making sure he had everyone's full attention. "We could have fun with this girl." He stated, smirking slightly.

"Hey, that's a pretty fucking good idea, Itachi." Hidan said.

"It is," Kisame agreed. "Now only-Hey! You can't do that!" The blue man shouted, staring down at the Pokemon cards laid out in front of him.

"I can and I did," Itachi said. "I win."

"No! No fucking way! Pikachu, I choose you!" Kisame shouted indignantly.

Pein sighed. They were all such _idiots. _"Okay, I have a plan." he said.

Deidara looked up at him with big blue eyes. "Yes, master?"

Pein coughed uncomfortably. "Save that for later tonight," there were a few snickers throughout the room, which were quickly stopped by Pein's glare. "I say, we ambush the kid." Pein smirked evilly.

"Like, a gang bang?" Hidan asked hopefully. Kisame slapped him on the back of the head.

"Hey! What the hell was that for bitch?" Hidan exclaimed. Itachi just sighed and told them both to shut up.

Kakuzu looked up from his money counting for a second. "Why don't we get her tomorrow? We'll kidnap her all day." He paused, then resumed his money counting. "One thousand and five, one thousand and six..."

Zetsu nodded his approval, and the rest of the group agreed.

"What about the fucking gang bang?" Except for Hidan, who left Itachi and Kisame's dorm that night with a black eye and bruised cheek.

"Fucking bitches..."

The next morning, Sakura woke up to Ino's blaring alarm clock and-gasp-no Ino!

_Where, oh where, has my little pig gone? _Sakura thought to herself as she showered and got dressed in a pair of jeans and a mint green hoodie.

"Maybe she left for the dining hall without me..." Sakura asked out loud. It wouldn't be to surprising after last night's events. The pinkette was still worried, however.

Sakura left her dorm room, locking it behind her, only to find that taped on the outside of the door was a note. Scrawled in blocking handwriting, it read:

_If you want your blond friend back before it's too late, you'll have to find us and agree to our terms._

_~The Akatsuki_

Sakura stared at the note for a long time. She recognized that handwriting.

It, without a doubt, belonged to the smurf on steroids.

"I can't believe you grabbed the wrong fucking bitch." Hidan stated, staring at Deidara with a bored look.

"Hey! At least I got someone, un! Besides, un, it all worked out." Deidara stated, smilng triumphantly.

"Um, excuse me...but is there any chance of me getting some breakfast or a shower anytime soon?" Their captive, Ino, asked cautiously.

"Not until your friend agrees to our terms." Pein said, glaring at Deidara and Hidan.

Ino sighed, and sat down on the copy machine. She could tell this would be a long day.

_Before you eat me, I know I promised fluff in this one! And I tried, I really did, but it just didn't work out that way :( I've got a great idea for the next chapter though :D So be prepared!_


	5. Dynamite

**Hot Off The Press**

_**Dynamite**_

"Don't you have any, like, nail polish or something?" Ino asked her captives.

"No." Sasori said, grinding his teeth together.

"Are you sure? I mean, can't you just che-"

"SHUT IT BITCH!" Hidan shouted, cutting off anything else the blond girl might've said.

Ino crossed her arms over her chest. "Fine." She huffed.

"TENTEN, HINATA, KARIN, TEMARI, INO HAS BEEN STOLEN!" Sakura shouted as she ran through the cafeteria, earing the stares of many students and teachers.

"Who would want to steal Ino?" Karin asked.

Sakura reachedthe table and started to whisper. "The Akatsuki took her! They left a note saying that I had to agree to there terms to get her back!"

"How dare they try and bully us!" Tenten said, anger clearly showing on her face.

"We need to get the guys in on this, they'll help us save Ino." Temari added, a thoughtful look on her face.

"What are you guys saying?" Sakura asked. "I can't let any more of you take the fall for my mistakes." The pinkette told her friends sadly.

Karin rammed her fist down on the oak table. "Fuck that. Ino's our friend too!" The redhead shouted defiently, glaring at Sakura.

"That's r-right, Sakura-san. We can't j-just let you go!" Hinata spoke, surprising al her friends.

"Alright," Tenten said, smirking like a mad woman. "Looks like we're going on a rescue mission!"

"Cherry Blossom to Chicken Butt, I repeat, this is Cherry Blossom to Chicken Butt." Sakura whispered into her cell phone, scanning the hallway for teachers or students.

"You know, you don't have to do that. I'm right here." Sasuke whispered from behind her. He was supposed to be her partner, like Mr. and Mrs. Smith, only they weren't trying to kill each other.

"Shhhhhh!" Sakura hushed, tiptoeing across the clean oak floor. Sasuke sighed, but followed her none-the-less.

"Hello? Hello? This is The Ramenator to Cherry Blossom and Chicken Butt, repeat, this is Ramenator." Came blaring through Sakura's cell phone.

"Dobe. You're supposed to whisper." Sasuke, a.k.a. Chicken Butt, said into the phone.

"This isn't dobe, teme. It's the Ramenator!" Naruto whisper-shouted.

Sakura put the phone up to her ear. "This is Cherry Blossom to Ramenator. Has the cow flown over the moon?" She asked.

"That would be a negative. But-Ow! Tenten, that was mean!" Naruto shouted, on the other end of the line, Sasuke tries-and failed-to grab the phone from Sakura.

"Cherry Blossom, this is Fighter Girl. Are you with me?" Tenten asked from the other line. Sakura stuck out her tongue at Sasuke and answered.

"I'm with you. What's the update?" The pinkette asked.

From the other end of the line, Naruto could be heard humming the Mission Impossible theme song. "We're just gonna barge into the club room. If Ino's there, we grab her and run, if not, run for your life." Tenten said.

"Alright. Inform Desert Rose, Redhead, Purple Hearts and their partners of the plan." Sakura told her best friend. "Cherry Blossom out." The she hung up the phone.

From the corner of her eye, Sakura saw Sasuke staring at her. "What?" She asked, putting a hand on her hip.

Sasuke smirked at her. "Nothing. It's just you weren't what I expected."

Sakura rolled her mint green eyes. "That's what they all say." She never would've guessed Sasuke was actually a decent human being once you got to know him. But that's just what rescues missions do to people; Bring them together.

_Come to think about it, he's actually pretty cute..._Sakura thought, and immediately blushed.

"Hey Sakura?" Sasuke whispered, leaned closer to her face.

"Um...yeah?" _Damn it. I'm squeaking!_

"You have really pretty eyes..." He trailed off, and Sakura found herself pushed against the wall and Sasuke Uchiha's chest.

_Holy Crow. This boy knows what he's doing..._

The ringing of Sakura's cell phone brought them both back to reality. "Cherry Blossom here." Sakura said, rather shakily.

"This...is...Sparta!" The voice on the other end of the line shouted, making Sakura realize it was not, in fact, one of her friends.

"You fucking moron! Hand over that fucking phone before I sacrifice you to Jashin!" A voice on the other end of the line shouted.

"But Tobi is a good boy!" A childish voice, the one who had called, cried.

Sakura's eyebrow twitched. "Who is this?"

"This is Tobi and Hidan!" The childish voice said.

"No it's fucking not! This is the fucking Akatsuki!" Hidan, Sakura presumed, shouted into the phone.

"You! What did you do to Ino!" The pinkette said angrily, her face going as red as her hair.

"Why the fuck should I tell-" Hidan was cut off by another voice.

"Hidan! That's enough. Give me that phone." The voice commander, in a tone much like someone with a God complex would use.

"Fine." Hidan huffed, handing the phone over to whoever had ordered.

"Sakura Haruno. We don't want you in our club." The voice told her.

"No, really? I would've never guessed!" Sakura exclaimed in a fake shocked voice.

The voice cleared it's throat. "Do not mock me!" It commanded. "Anyway, if you agree not to join, we will let your blond friend go free."

"That's it?" Sakura asked, not faking her shock this time.

"That's it. Now if you just-" The voice began, but was interrupted by a much more feminine voice (nope, not Deidara) "Don't do it Sak! Don't let them win!"

_Ino! _Sakura thought, and instead of agreeing to the voice's terms, she slammed the phone shut and ran at full speed towards the publishing room. _They better fucking be there._

"Ino, I'm coming for you!" The pinkette shouted. Even though the blond may not be able to hear her, Sakura knew that didn't matter.

Sakura had her friends on her side, and that was more than enough to save Ino.


	6. The Great Escape

_THIS IS THE POLICE. YOU ARE UNDER ARREST._

_Hehe, I'm just kidding. That was just to get your attention :D Just so you know, I put up a poll on my account to decide who you want Sakura to end up with in Hot Off The Press (coughDeidaracough). The fate of the world rests on your shoulders, so be sure to vote!_

**Hot Off The Press**

_**The Great Escape**_

"Okay, Sak, we're ready when you are." Tenten said, watching me watch the door of the room Ino and the Akatsuki might or might not be in.

I nodded at her, just to let her know I heard. But really, my mind was a whirlpool of concern. What if Ino wasn't in there? What if the Akatsuki took another one of my friends? This was all just too much for a fifteen year old to handle.

"Okay..." I finally said, gaining all the confidence I could find in my petite body. "Let's do this."

I kung-foo kicked the door open, and me and my gang rushed in the place, ready to beat down anything with a pulse.

Tenten threw the first punch, her first landing on Hidan (already bruised for some reason) cheek. She landed a fatal blow at Sasori, and he went down clutching his...yeah.

Hinata swept kicked both Deidara and Zetsu, and Naruto beat them to a bloody pulp. Temari headbutted Kakuzu and stole all his money, then she took down Kisame.

Me and Sasuke tag-teamed. He had my back and I had his. I got into a fist fight with Pein, and hit him at least seven times in the face before he went down. While Sasuke simply had to kick Itachi in the stomach.

We all laughed victoriously and I swept Ino up in my arms. We skipped out of the club room and made it back in time for lunch, where the cafeteria gave us each an extra slice of pie.

At least, that's how I wish it went. I reality, this is what happened: Naruto got beat up by Kisame an Hidan by trying to protect Hinata, Temari did manage to kick Sasori in the nuts, but he got back up and caught her. Sasuke and me were took down by Itachi (yeah, both of us). And Tenten and Karin got into a fight about who was gonna fight who.

So now we were all being held captive by the Akatsuki. But on the brightside, I was sitting next to Ino!

"Sakura! you guys came to save me!" Said blond cried.

"We couldn't leave you Ino, I mean, your my _bitch_!" I said, crying big anime tears of happiness.

"I'd hug you, but we're kind of tied together right now." Ino said.

"Um, hey, it's great that you're happy to see each other and all, but we just got our asses kicked. Any more bright ideas?" Karin snapped.

"Hey! Don't yell at me. It was Naruto's idea to act like ninja!" I yelled. And It was true. He even insisted on decking us all out in black. I didn't mind that part much, though, because I got to wear this super cute black mini skirt and long sleeve sweater.

Karin snorted.

"Silence fools!" The dude with the God complex said. I now recognized him as Pein, leader of the Akatsuki.

_A guy like that must had to lose, _I mused, getting an idea. "Hey Pein?" asked sweetly.

"What, minion?" He asked boredly.

"How would you like to have a little contest?" I asked. I could feel my gang's eyes on me, this wasn't part of the plan.

But hell, neither was getting caught.

"A contest?" Pein repeated. He was kind of cute when he wasn't playing God.

I pushed that thought to the back of my mind.

"Yup, a contest-or game, if you will." I continued, gaining their interest.

"Go on." Pein urged.

"Well, how would you guys like to play Twister?" I asked.

My question was met with laughter and stares. "I mean for a prize." That shut them up.

"What's the prize?" Pein asked, narrowing his eyes.

I shrugged, as hard as that was with rope tying my shoulders to Ino's. "Depends who wins. If me and my friend's win, you let all of us go, including Ino, AND I get to be on the newspaper." I said.

Pein put on a thoughtful look. "Fine. I agree to your terms." I almost cheered at that. "BUT, If we win, you stayed tied up here for the rest of the day, don't join the paper, and everytime you see one of us in the halls you have to bow and say 'Hello master.'" Pein smirked. I was so right about him having a God complex.

"Okay, I agree." I smirked as well, "Now untie us."

"Untie her!" Pein ordered, and his minions set right to work undoing the ropes.

"Hey," Sasori whispered to me while he was undoing me and Ino's ties. "You should know, Pein is the champion of Twister."

"That's interesting. You really think I give a fuck?" I asked, rather coldly. I wasn't feeling to fond of him after he helped tie up me and my friends.

"Itachi, get the Twister mat!" Pein commanded. Itachi looked up at him with a glare that could rivel Sasuke's, but none the less went over to the huge closet in the far right corner of the room and pulled a multicolored mat from it.

I leaned close to Tenten, and whispered, as softly as possible "When I say go, get ready to run."

Tenten pinched me, letting me know she heard, and I saw her lean closer to Temari. Temari did the same to Ino, and I did the same to Sasuke, blushing all the while.

Some of the Akatsuki had already begun setting up the mat by the time I everyone was informed of the plan.

"Go!" I whisper-shouted. We all ran at them at the same time.

Our escape attempt was successful. Each and everyone in my gang had gotten out safe. Only problem: The Akatsuki ran after us.

We split up, each one of us being persued by a different member. I didn't dare look back at whoever was pursueing me in fear that I might loose my footing and trip.

I ran down at least four flights of stairs and across the spacious garden of Konoha Academy. Eventually, though, I found myself at a dead end, as the runner always does in chase scenes.

"You...running...too fast...need air..." I turned around to find that it had been none other than Sasori stalking me. He was carrying his sweat soaked shirt in his hand, and his chest was bear.

Fuck, he was hot.

**I'll say. **

Who are you and what are doing in my head?

**I'm your inner. I'm the side of you that drools over shirtless hot guys.**

Holy crap...I've finally lost it, haven't I?

**Why don't you loose it to the shirtless hottie in front of you?**

Your disgusting.

**I'm you, dollface. And I say Jump that sexy mothfucka NOW!**

"Sakura," Sasori said, invading my personal space.

"Sasori." I said, trying to everywhere but his chest.

Sasori didn't reply, though. Instead he stared me stared in the eye for a full two minutes, and then kissed me.

That's right. He _kissed _me. No fucking warning or anything.

**Two guys in one day! Fuck yeah! **Inner cheered from inside my mind.

Sasori leaned in to deepen the kiss, and I didn't try to stop him. In fact, I kissed him back.

I broke the kiss first. After, Sasori started staring at me again. Just when i though he was leaning in fr another kiss, I made my escape.

I rushed past him and back to my dorm room, where I found the rest of my gang unscathed (for the most part) waiting for me.

Mission Save The Pig accomplished.

X

_Awwww, how cute! Enjoy it while you can, reader, for I have an evil plot in store for you :D And for anyone who's still wondering, Sasuke DID kiss Sakura last chapter. I've decided to make everyone want Sakura, not just the Akatsuki :D Until next chapter, my fair readers._


	7. Hey Cupid

**Hot Off The Press**

_**Hey Cupid**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. **_

"So, how should we celebrate?" Ino asked, twirling a lock of her shiny blond hair around her finger.

The moment I had stepped foot in the room, my girls had attacked me. We had a group hug and after I pried them off of me we all just stared awkwardly at each other.

"I want ice cream." Karin stated, as if it was the most important thing in the world and if she didn't get her ice cream than we would all feel the wrath of her ninja skillz.

"I second that!" Tenten said, and we all made our way down to the cafeteria, where we ate ice cream and avoided the teacher's classes we had to skip that day.

X

"Who the fuck do they think they are?" Hidan fumed, angrily pacing the publishing room.

"I don't know, but I cannot allow this blasphemy!" Pein said "I am God. Who are they to defy me?"

Kakuzu sighed, once again realizing that he was surrounded by idiots. "You morons, she's still in the club. Tsunade's not going to let her quit." He stated, and went back to counting his money.

"Holy fuck. He's got a good fucking point." Hidan said, an evil glint in his eyes. "Let's get some payback on this bitch!"

"I'm all for that idea," Sasori butted in, not letting his worry show on his face. "But what are you going to do?" Thankfully, nobody noticed Sasori's use of the word 'you.'

"We're gonna make her fucking life a living hell." Hidan said. He laughed evilly, completing the creepy mood that had begun to overcast the dorm.

"Tobi thinks Hidan-sempai has been spending too much time with Itchi-sempai."

"Shut the fuck up."

"But Tobi is a good boy!"

X

"SAKURA HARUNO, REPORT TO THE PRINCIPLE'S OFFICE NOW." The intercom boomed. Sakura sighed, packed up her stuff, and sprinted out of art and towards the office.

All through the class, Sasori and Deidara kept giving her odd looks. Like they were anxious for her. The pinkette hadn't tried to ask why, and wasn't unhappy to get a free pass out of the art room.

Once she reached the office, Sakura was ushered into Tsunade's room.

"Hello there Sakura!" Tsunade said, in a rather hyper tone that was rare for her.

"Um...hello?" It came out more like a question.

Tsunade paid no mind to her student's hesitence, and went on talking. "As the creative writer of the paper, I need your piece in by tomorrow afternoon." She said, slurring _noon._

"My...piece?" Sakura asked, thoroughly confused.

"Your piece, you know, your at least two page long story for the school paper." Tsunade said caerlessly, taking a drink out of what looked like a sake bottle to Sakura.

"Tsunade-sama...are you _drunk_?" Sakura asked increduously, staring at her principle in shock.

"Of course not! Now, OUT OF MY OFFICE!" Tsunade boomed, and Sakura scrambled to get out of the room as quickly as possible.

_Holy fuck, my prinicple's a drunk!_

**I don't blame her. **

_You again! Don't you have something better to do?_

**Yeah, Itachi Uchiha.**

_That's such a sick mental image. _

**You like it.**

_Fuck you._

Sakura made her way to the publishing room before someone could announce her crazy.

X

_What should I write?_ I wondered, staring at the computer screen. Before I could think of something good, somebody burst into the room and interrupted me.

"You, un!" Deidara shouted, he had obviously sprinted here, because his usual ponytail had fallen out, and his hair was windblow.

**Holy** **fuck. Jump that sex bomb!**

_Get out of meeeee!_

**That's what she said.**

Suddenly, it came to me. The perfect idea for a story. I could write about how me and my friends had saved Ino! I would have tp change the names in it, but it was a perfect!

_Deidara, I could kiss you right now!_

**Do it girl! Rape! RAPE!**

"Deidara," I said, surprising him with my sweet tone of voice.

"Yeah, un?" The blond asked, sexily leaning against the computer desk I was sitting at.

"I love you!" I grinned and hugged him around the waist. "You just gave me a great idea for my story!"

"Yeah...um...un..." Deidara stuttered, and I looked up to see that he was blushing.

I let go of Deidara. "Now, get the fuck out of my writing space." I said, still grinning like crazy.

"But Sakura, you need to kno-" Deidara's started but I cut him off.

"That very interesting, tell me later."

"But, un-"

"I said, TELL ME LATER!" I screamed at him.

"Fine, un."

"Fine."

"Whatever, un."

"Fuck you, _un_."

"Don't mock me, un!"

"OUT OF ME WRITING SPACE!"

X

_Hehehehehe, no need to worry me pretties :D I can't wait to write the Sakura and Hidan scene next chapter. Mwahahahahahaha!_

_AND I'M GONNA SAY THIS AGAIN BECAUSE I'M STUPID AND COULDN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO POST A POLL: I put up a poll on my profile so you guys can vote on who you want Sakura to end up with^^ If I don't get enough votes, the story will automatically become a DeiSaku fic. _


	8. A Pirate's Life For Me

_For anyone who's curious, I'm basically giving Sakura her own Harem, but in the end she'll fall in love with one person only. Until then, though, let the unrequited romances commence :D_

**Hot Off The Press**

_**A Pirate's Life For Me**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto D:**_

Sakura Haruno was NOT a coward. In fact, if someone were to call her a coward she would promptly prove them wrong by shoving her fist through their face.

Yes, _through. _

So why, pray tell, was she shaking in fear in front of the dark mahogany door that seemed to loom forty feet above her?

Sakura Haruno did not know.

But she did know this: When she opened that door, all hell would break loose.

X

"I can't believe that bitch is actually joining the club. We should fucking burn the paper she wrote." Hidan huffed, crossing his arms over his toned chest.

"But then we wouldn't have a creative piece for the newspaper," Sasori interrupted. "It's a win-lose situation." Pein agreed.

Hidan slammed his fist down on one of the hard oak desks. "Damn, that bitch Tsunade really got us this time."

"Tobi is a good boy!"

X

Sakura took a deep breath, she couldn't wait any longer. The pinkette slowly eased the door open, noting the way it creeked when she did so.

X

The door to the publishing room creeked open, and standing in the doorway, still debating whether to come in the room or not, was Sakura.

All of the Akatsuki turned to look. A few of the boy's eyes (Hidan) raked over her petite form.

Sakura had on a cream V-neck sweater and faded skinnies. She had left her hair down, deciding that this was a special occasion, and it spilled around her pale face and shoulders like a pink waterfall. In place of her white converse, Sakura's feet adorned a pair of fuzzy boots (Ino's).

"Hi," The pinkette said, waving timidly at her audience.

Deidara was the first to break the silence. "So, un, are you gonna read us your story for the paper?"

_Bless his soul, _Sakura thought sympathetically.

_**Jump his bones, **_Inner added, in the same sympathetic tone.

_Do you even know what that means?_

_**No. But I know it's something good. **_

"I'd rather not," Sakura replied. Though she was confident with her writing, it was still embarrassing for them to know what she had written about.

X

"The Akatsuki stole my bitch!" Ino said, fuming.

"What?" Tenten asked, trying-and failing-to steal a bite of Karin's mac n' cheese.

"You heard me!" Ino said, trying-and succeeding-to steal a bite of Tenten's rice. "We need to do something about this." She continued.

"What did you have in mind?" Temari asked, stealing Karin's entire tray and digging in to her lunch.

"Who do they think they are? Pfft, they can't take Sakura away from _me_-" "**Us."**"Yeah, yeah. Whatever." Ino waved away Tenten's comment. "This means war." The blonde said with hard eyes.

Temari raised her perfectly plucked eyebrows. "Are you sure you're not just being overly-dramatic?" The sandy blond asked skeptically.

"Temari, how could you! This is about Sakura!" Ino shouted, scandalized.

"Okay, okay, Ino. Relax. Should I call in reinforcements?" Karin asked, playing along.

Ino grinned manically. "Who did you have in mind?"

X

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Hidan asked, staring at the pink haired girl he was supposed to 'work' with.

_"Excuse me?" _Said pinkette spoke. Right then and there, Sakura gave Hidan the nickname Guy About To Get Kicked In The Nuts.

"Well, your hair is fucking pink. Who the hell would dye their hair pink?" Guy About To Get Kicked In The Nuts said.

It was two hours after school had ended, and Hidan and Sakura were the only ones left in the room, both being procrastinators they still had editing to do.

Sakura gritted her teeth. "It's. _Natural_." She said, deadly silent for a few moments. It was like the calm before a storm.

Hidan, being the fat head he is, didn't get the hint, and went on with his I-hate-pink rant. "It's just stupid. Do you think it fucking looks good like that or something?"

Sakura snapped louder then crackle and pop. The pinkette stood from the cozy computer chair, and got right up in Hidan's face.

_**He's pretty hot. **_

_Not now!_

"Hidan?" She asked, sickly sweet.

"Yes?" Said Guy About To Get Kicked In The Nuts asked back, confident that the pink-haired girl had couldn't harm him.

"Can I show you something?" Sakura asked, even going as far as to smile seductively at him.

"Anything you want," Hidan whispered huskily. Sakura blushed. They were so cloese-she could feel his breath fan out over her face.

_**Someone didn't use mouthwash~**_

"You have to lean in closer," Sakura whispered. Hidan did as told. And then, quicker then a ninja, Sakura rammed her forehead into Guy About To Get Kicked In The Nut's.

"HOLY FUCK!"

X

"Tsunade-sama, Did you just hear something?" Shizune asked the half-sober Hokage of the Hidden Leaf Village.

"Why is the rum always gone?" Tsunade asked sadly, turning the empty sake bottle upside down and ignoring her assistant's question.

X

Deidara burst in the publishing room-not that he was standing outside the door for the past hour-once he heard the cry of his comrade.

The sight he was met with, however, was not what the blond was expecting.

Sakura was rolling on the floor laughing, and Hidan was clutching his head. It looked like a nasty bruise was forming above the silver-haired man's left eye.

"...what the fuck?" Deidara asked, still trying to make sense of the scene before him.

Hidan suddenly stood up, shaking with fury. He pointed an accusing finger at Sakura. "That little bitch headbutted me!"

Said pinkette just continued laughing.

"Why don't you just go to the nurse, un?" Deidara suggested, holding in his own silent laughter.

Hidan's eyes lit up. "That's a good fucking idea. That bitch is hot." And with that, Guy About To Get Kicked In The Nuts skipped out of the publishing room, pervy thoughts filling his aching head.

An awkward silence setted in between the two teens.

"So..." Deidara began. He was trying his hardest to fight off the blush making it's way to his (manly) cheeks.

Getting an idea, he took out him lighter and some clay, and and and said to Sakura "How do you feel about blowing stuff up, un?"

The pinkette in question grinned "It makes my day," she said.

"Let's go then, un." Deidara told her, getting an evil glint in his eyes.

_**Jump him now!**_

_Oh hell naw, not you again!_

"Sak, are you coming?" The blond (male?) asked her.

"Oh hell yeah!" Sakura said, getting pumped up to blow shit up.

Deidara paused at the doorway when she reached him, and leaned down to lay a chaste kiss on her plump pink lips.

"C'mon, un." He said, blushing furiously and sprinting out of the room.

Sakura touched a pale finger to her bottom lip. Deidara's kiss may have been fleeting, but she swore she felt sparks.

_**WHY DIDN'T YOU JUMP HIM?**_

_BITCH, GET OUTTA MY HEAD. _

X

_Okay guys, so this is going to be a 15-20 chapter long story most likely. Maybe a little more. I already have it written out on my computer to chapter twelve, I'm just waiting for reviews :) I'll update soon, bye~_


	9. Crush'd

**Hot Off The Press**

_**Crush'd**_

_**Disclaimer: Me no own Naruto :(**_

"Sakura, guess what!" Ino shouted at her best friend as the pink-haired girl walked into Chemistry class that afternoon.

"What?" Sakura asked, wondering why Ino looked like she'd been up all night getting high off of Pixie Stix.

"Winter break is coming up!" The blond girl cheered, going as far as to get up and dance around on her chair.

"Ino!" Sakura whisper-yelled, trying to save her friend from embarrassment. "I don't know what you've been smoking, but you need something stronger."

Ino looked at the pinkette as if she had just grown a second head. "I'm not _HIGH, _Sakura!" Ino yelled indignantly.

"Keep your voice low!" Sakura hissed, sliding into her seat next to Ino. "You know who could hear." She said, nodding her head towards their Sensei, Orochimaru.

"Whatever," Ino dismissed Sakura's comment with a wave of her hand. "It's already December fifth, Sak, we really gotta start planning our vacation!"

Sakura shot her friend a confused look. "I didn't know 'we' were going on vacation."

Ino sighed, she figured her smart new friend would have figured it out by now. "No duh, forehead. Last time I checked, you hadn't called your parents or made plans with them, and Hinata's dad offered to let us-meaning you, me, Tenten, Temari, and Karin-chill at their ski resort with them." The blond smiled blissfully "It'll be great, you'll see!"

Sakura blushed, not because this was the first time Ino was telling her about this vacation, but because she had noticed that Sakura hadn't called her parents once sice she got here.

_**And with good reason. **_

_Oh, shush. _

The pinkette just hadn't dubbed Ino as the observant type.

Unknown to the two, someone had been listening on their conversation. Itachi Uchiha just _happened _to be passing by the classroom as Ino and Sakura held their conversation.

Itachi smirked evilly. He knew where the Akatsuki were going for winter break.

X

As Ino and Sakura made their way to the cafeteria for lunch, the pinkette found herself being dragged away by two _very_ strong hands.

"Kisame, what the fuck are you doing?" Sakura asked, glaring at the blue man who had so rudely dragged her away from Ino.

"A girl as cute as you shouldn't use that kind of language." Kisame teased, enjoying watching the pinkette get so riled up.

"Why don't you f-" "You're sitting at our table today." Kisame ordered, easily cutting off whatever Sakura was about to say.

The cherry blossom's pale skin slowly became a bright shade of red. "Who gave you the right to boss me around? I sure as hell didn't. Now if you will, I'm going back to my _friend's _table!" Sakura shouted, gaining a few rude stares from passerbies.

"Wait!" Kisame yelled, obviously not noticing how red Sakura's face had gotten. He grabbed her elbow and yanked her back, then planted a firm kiss right on her lips.

_**WHAT THE FUCK! **_Inner Sakura screamed.

Kisame pushed his tongue against her mouth, asking for entrance. Too bad for him, the Akatsuki's newest member was in a rather..._murderous _mood.

Sakura's eyes popped open, and she nee'd Kisame in a place no man wanted to be nee'd.

The shark-like man broke off the kiss, grabbing his legs as he gasped for air. Sakura almost laughed, but figured that would be going to far.

_**AHAHAHA! TAKE THAT FISH FACE! **_

_Serves him right._

The pinkette make her way back over to her gang, where Ino was sitting down already and waving frantically to get her ass back NOW.

"I told you they were trying to take her from us!" Ino whispered harshly to the rest of the group.

"But she came back to us!" Tenten argued.

"Um...ano, Tenten? I think Ino may have a point." Hinata put in shyly. She bit her bottom lip as soon as the words left her mouth.

Tenten knew how rare it was for the dark-haired girl to gain the confidence to say what she was thinking, and she didn't want to shatter that.

Tenten sighed in defeat.

"Hey guys!" Sakura said, finally reaching their table. Ino grinned at her.

"Hey, so...I had this idea," Ino started, staring at Sakura intently.

"What kind of idea?" The pinkette asked carefully, enunciating 'kind.'

Temari had to hand it to the newest addition to their gang, the girl wasn't pulled in easily.

"It nothing bad if that's what you're thinking! I just wanted you to meet some of our other friends." Ino said, no fake edge to her voice this time.

Sakura's features lit up. "Sure, sounds like fun to me." She said.

Ino's grin returned, and her eyes shone with a new kind of light. "Great, here they come now!" She said, pointing to a couple of guys walking towards their half-empty table.

"Guys, this is Sakura." Ino introduced, then she pointed at a guy who had his dark hair tied up in a spiky ponytail, giving his head the appearance of a pineapple. "That's Shikamaru,"

"How troublesome..." Shikamaru mumbled , laying his head down on his arms and falling asleep at the table. Sakura sweat-dropped.

"Sakura, you remember me and teme, right?" Naruto said, and the pinkette grinned at him.

"How could I ever forget the Ramenator!" Sakura giggled. Naruto grinned and Sasuke 'hn'd.'

_**He kisses you and then ignores you? What a jerk.**_

_I know right? And he wasn't even that great of a kisser._

_**Now we're just lying to ourselves. **_

"That Kiba," Ino went on, pointing at a boy holding an adorable dog.

_Awwwww!_

_**I think I'm gonna barf.**_

_But it's soooo cute!_

_**Get that mut away from the food!**_

"That's Sai, Neji, and Rock Lee." Ino finished. She put on a confused look. "Hey, Temari, I thought your brothers were coming too."

"They decided not to." Temari mumbled, slurping up some of her ramen.

"Oh." Ino didn't try and hide her disappointment.

"Youthful Cherry Blossom, I must say, you are the most beautiful thing my youthful eyes have ever been lucky enough to see! Will you, the beautiful and youthful Sakura Haruno, like to be my girlfriend?" Lee asked, neeling in front of her and grabbing the hand that didn't have a spork in it.

_**Use the spork, Sakura.**_

**_You mean The Force?_**

**_No bitch, I said SPORK._**

There were snickers heard around the room, and Sakura swore she heard Hidan say "That bitch is about as youthful as my sythe."

It only took a minute for Sakura to realize the position she was in, and she promptly slapped Lee across his bushy-browed face.

"Youthful cherry blossom, that hurt..." Lee whined, as huge anime tears began to cascade down his cheeks.

"Oops." Was all Sakura had to say for herself. Ignoring the laughing from her friends and the rest of the school, she stood up to go dump her tray and drag Tenten to gym class with her.

X

"Day-uuuum, Sakura. You bitch slapped him." Hinata stated.

X

_So there you have it :P I don't really like this chapter, nothing much happened. The next one will be chalk full of good stuff though :D Oh, and don't forget to vote for who Sakura ends up with! There's a poll for it on my profile :) Next chapter will probably a Christmas-y one, even if it is the middle of fucking august. That's just how I roll. _


	10. She's Killing Me

_Yay! A nice long chapter for all my reviewers! You guys are amazing!_

**Hot Off The Press**

_**She's Killing Me**_

I stared out the window of the Hyuuga's private jet, trying, and failing, to look like I was excited for winter break. In reality, I missed my mom and dad, and the smell of mom's cooking, and dad hanging the Christmas lights-

_**Shut the fuck up. I did not agree to going to some rich bastard's ski resort just to hear you mope all day. This Christmas could be so much better then the last few years if you'd just enjoy it.**_

_Go away. As if I need you here to add to my pain._

_**Well, you're just a fucking ray of sunshine today, aren't you?**_

_Are you calling me fat?_

_**Yes.**_

_BITCH!_

"Sakura! I can see the mountains from here!" Ino shouted from her seat next to Tenten.

I sighed, guess it was time to suck it up.

X

"Deidara-sempai, are we there yet?" Tobi asked his fellow Akatsuki member.

The blonde in question gritted his teeth. He knew ignoring the childish teen would just earn him more pestering.

"For the umpteenth time, un, I don't now, and never will know, when we'll be there. I'm not fucking physic!" Deidara shouted, loud enough for everyone on the plane to hear.

Silence. Deidara counted eight seconds, and then-

"Deidara-sempai, are we-" "PASSENGERS, PLEASE PREPARE FOR LANDING. WE HAVE ARRIVED AT OUR DESTINATION." The intercom blared, blocking out the rest of Tobi's question.

Deidara silently cheered. "Yes, Tobi, un. We're here."

X

Sakura took in the Hyuuga Hotel. _This _was where should would be staying for the next two weeks?

To say the place was beautiful was an understatement. It had indoor hot springs in the lounge, room service twenty four/seven, high ceilings with sparkling chandeliers, and a five star restaurant already built in.

Tenten let out a whistle as she stepped into the palace. And without looking, Sakura already knew Ino's eyes were glittering more than the chandeliers ever could. She must be on cloud nine.

"Wait till you see our rooms." Hinata told the starstruck girls, giggling softly. Temari and Karin smirked.

X

"So this is the famous Hyuuga Hotel?" Itachi asked, glaring up at the building as if telling it "I am better then you."

"No, this is their ski resort." Sasori said, boredly looking at the doorman, who believed that they were in a heated staring contest, and was glaring menacingly at the redhead.

"Well, no point wasting time. Come, minions." Pein said, leading the Akatsuki into the majestic looking ski resort.

X

Sakura flopped down on the comfy king-size bed. She was so looking forward to getting some sleep.

"FOREHEAD, WE'RE GOING DOWN TO THE HOT SPRINGS!" Ino shouted, loud enough to make Sakura's head ache.

"Have fun with that..." The pinkette mumbled back, already falling into a deep sleep.

Ino shrugged, and her and the rest of the girls headed down to the hot springs, dragging Kiba and Sasuke along with them.

X

Kisame did a canon ball into one of the hot springs, spraying water and small unfortunate children everywhere.

"Was that really necessary?" Itachi asked, face as impassive as ever.

"Fuck yeah it was, I'm gonna go check this bitch out." Hidan said, and the older Uchiha could tell he was talking about the resort. After a few moments of silence, Itachi heard an all too familiar voice...

"YOU!" Ino shouted, glaring at the group of (sexy) men.

"What the hell are you guys doing here?" Tenten asked. _Ino was right! _She thought. _Well, they're not getting our Sakura-chan!_

"We're here for the same reason as you, un." Deidara said, smirking slightly.

"Tobi came to have a good time!" Tobi shouted, not noticing the danger in Ino's baby blue eyes.

"LIARS! We know you're trying to steal Sakura away from us!" Karin yelled, pointing an accusing finger at Sasori, who was still in his heated staring contest with the doorman.

"That's completely insane! We wouldn't do something like that!" Kisame said, his face turning more red than blue.

"That's a load of crap!" Kiba yelled, feeling left out.

"Hn. You're all wrong-" "You got us, it's true." Pein said, as Itachi stopped mid-sentence and stared at the orange-haired nut.

Sasori's eyes narrowed suspiciously, but he didn't blink.

"You got us," Pein continued, striding up to Ino and looking her in the eyes. "We want Sakura all for ourselves, and you're just in the way." He stated carelessly.

Ino gaped for a moment, but regained her composure. "Oh no. No, no, no, no, no." The stunning blond turned her fiercest glare on the Akatsuki's leader, and said "There's no way in hell you'll ever take Sakura away from us. This...means...WAR!" Ino cried, pumping her fist in the air.

"A fight for Sakura..." Tenten whispered ominously.

Pein smirked, resisting the urge to stick out his tongue at her. Ino had fallen right into his trap. "May the best _man _win."

"Tobi didn't know Ino-chan was a man!"

X

_Room 123, wonder what the fuck's in here...? _Hidan thought. He had long since ditched the Akatsuki to go around exploring. So far, he had walked in on two naked chicks, one naked dude who looked like a chick (Oro-chan?), and some old fat guy watching porn.

Hidan chuckled. They really should lock these places more securely.

The silver-haired man pushed open the door and was disappointed to find nothing but a girl sleeping in the king-sized bed.

He was about to leave, but something jarred inside his mind. _Girl? _He looked back, and saw that the girl's pink locks had splayed out all over the pillow her head rested on.

_Pink?_

If there were a light bulb hanging above Hidan's head right now, it would have been blow to bits by all the electricity being charged into it.

"SAKURA!" He shouted.

X

I heard somebody yell my name. Loud. _Not now, _I thought _go away. I want sleep!_

Either my invader didn't hear me or couldn't read minds, because the next moment, the resort's soft lights were blaring in my face. Jolting me back to reality.

I sat up groggily and let my eyes ajust to the new setting. Unfortunately for me, my green orbs just happened to fall on one bast-_person _imparticular.

It was Guy About To Get Kicked In The Nuts. And I was about to wipe that smug smirk off his face.

X

I smirked at the pink bitch when she looked at me. I could tell she was pissed beyond belief. Maybe it was the way she pursed her lips when she was mad, or how her cheeks got so red it looked like she had eaten fire, but something, _something, _just made the bitch look so fucking hot when she got pissed.

I chucked, hoping to enrage her more. And it worked for the most part; She started throwing pillows at me.

"DAMMIT, STOP DODGING MY PILLOWS YOU SADISTIC BASTARD!"

Fuck, messing with her was hilarious. I was full on laughing now, and the pink bitch just got angrier and angrier. I was about to tease her some more, when i felt my phone vibrate in my back pocket.

I flipped open my pink Razor (it was a fucking gift). It was a text from Kisame.

_Yo, we just started a war with pinky's friends over who gets to keep Sakura. Us or Them. Apparently Pein's got something up his sleeve, but if you see Sakura, grab her and run. _

_~Kisame_

That fucking moron, where were we gonna hide the bitch if we're staying at the same resort as her friends?

I looked up at the pink bitch. She'd ran out of pillows and was looking for something else to throw.

Well, if I was gonna grab her...now would be the ideal time.

I flipped my Razor shut.

It was time for action.

X

_I just remembered something, there has yet to be any SakuraXItachi fluff! Oh no, I can't live without my Itasaku. We're gonna have to do something about that. Once again, same old reminders: Vote for who Sakura should end up with on the poll on my profile, Enjoy the chapter, and don't forget to review!_


	11. Life Is A Highway

**Hot Off The Press **

_**Life Is A Highway**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. **_

"So, I'm guessing there's a reason you threw me over your shoulder like a potato sack and started running aimlessly around the Hyuuga's resort." Sakura said, irritation lacing her voice. The poor girl just wanted some sleep.

"Yes, there fucking is." Hidan grunted, ajusting her body so as to make it easier on himself. "You're really fucking fat, you know. You should do something about that."

"Maybe you're just weak!" Sakura snapped. She was tired, cold, AND hungry. This was officially deemed the cherry blossom's Worst Day Ever.

"I'm not fucking weak!" Hidan fumed.

X

Kisame burst into the room he shared with the rest of the Akatsuki. He was breathing heavily and it was obvious he had sprinted here.

"Guys...Hidan...Sakura...war..." The blue man panted.

"That's very interesting, do you mind giving us a bit more detail?" Zetsu said in a very measured tone.

"Hey ass-wipes, guess what I caught!" Hidan shouted, walking into the room after Kisame. "What the fuck, fish-face, you stole my grand entrance!"

Kisame smirked at his comrade. "It's not my fault you're slow." He said.

"And it's not my fault you're blue." Hidan snapped back.

"Hi Sakura-chan! Tobi is a good boy!" The masked man said, going up to the Akatsuki's newest captive.

Hidan, realizing he still had the girl over his shoulder, blushed and quickly threw her on one of the huge beds surrounding them.

_**RAPE!**_

_I'm ignoring you now._

_**Pfft, let's see how long that lasts. **_

_Don't get cocky with me!_

_**I win!**_

"You do know how stupid it is to kidnap me in the resort that my friend's father owns, right? You're on our ground." Sakura pointed out.

"Like we fucking care." Hidan stated.

"She does have a point, though..." Pein mused, rubbing his finger against his chin. The orange haired man suddenly snapped his fingers. "I got it! Itachi, drive her out of here with the Akatsuki-mobile!"

Itachi just stared at his leader for a few seconds. "...you can't be serious."

Pein smirked. "Oh, but I _am_..."

"Tobi thinks that Pein-sama is more of a Dumbledore!" Tobi shouted excitedly.

"...you think I'm gay?"

Sakura cleared her throat, gaining the attention of her captors. "Um...don't _I _get a say in this?" She asked angrily.

At that, the Akatsuki all burst into fits of laughter. Except for Itachi, because he was too fucking cool for that.

"To the Akatsuki-mobile!" Tobi shouted, barging threw the door and into the hallway. "C'mon Itachi-sempai, we'll be like Batman and Robin!"

"...really?" Itachi asked increduiosly, staring at Pein, who just grinned back like a madman.

Pein nodded, and Itachi sighed and dragged a fervent Sakura along with him.

X

"This is the Akatsuki-mobile?" Sakura asked. She just barley stopped herself from bursting into uncontrollable fits of laughter.

"Yes." Itachi spat. Sakura held back another fit of giggles.

And who could blame her for wanting to laugh? The Akatsuki-mobile, which would be thought to be some kind of monster truck, is actually a tiny green Punch Buggy.

"It's so cute!" Sakura squealed, she couldn't hold it in anymore. The pinkette exploded into a fit of undying laughter.

Itachi rolled his eyes and put the key in the ignition. The sound of the engine turning on snapped Sakura back to reality. She had a plan in mind, but it was risky, and kind of illegal.

_**All the best things in life are, sweetheart.**_

_That is so true. _

Getting her laughter under control, Sakura prepared to jump into action. Itachi was in the perfect position for her to do what was needed. The pinkette crossed her fingers briefly and pushed the Uchiha's left side forward.

She heard him gasp, but Sakura didn't stick around to look. She hopped into the vehicle and put the petal to the metal.

_**That'll show those hot losers not to mess with us.**_

_For once, inner, I can agree with you. _

_**Damn straight!**_

Just to add salt to the wound, as Sakura was driving past Itachi and Tobi she rolled and the window and shouted "See you around, Itachi-_kun!" _

Oh, how Sakura wished Ino were here to see her now. The malicious blond would be so proud.

"Fuck! Tobi, go get Kakuzu and tell him to get my car and drive back here. **Now**." Itachi ordered his fellow Akatsuki member. Tobi obeyed almost immediately.

_Dammit! _Itachi thought. This little girl was giving him a run for his money.

X

_I decided to just upload this chapter because it's short, besides, next chapter is when all the fun starts ;)_


	12. Lovegame

**Hot Off The Press**

_**Lovegame**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. **_

"Pein, what do you mean when you say you have an 'idea?'" Zetsu asked skeptically. After Tobi had come running back with the news that Sakura had jacked their car, Pein had started thinking up a new plan.

"This one's fool proof, trust me." He had assured his friends, but none of them were buying that load of bull crap.

"Last time you had an idea, un, we got our car stolen." Deidara pointed out. "And by someone who doesn't even have a fucking license yet!" Hidan angrily agreed.

"Don't worry," Pein said, he decided this would be the end of their arguement and that it was time to give out orders.

Oh, how he loved to give out orders.

"Kisame, go kick down a couple of doors and bring them back here-no, it doesn't matter what kind-Deidara, run over to the joke shop we saw on the way here and get some fake mustaches and big hats-yeah, glasses too-and Sasori, go pick out a pretty dress, size four-no, don't ask why." Pein grinned manically, excited to watch his plan unfold.

X

Sakura was having the time of her life.

The roads were clear, it was sunny out, and she had rolled the top down on the punch buggy. Now, her long, lucious pink hair flowed out behind her in pace with the wind.

Life was good. Well, except for one teensy tiny problem: Sakura had no fucking clue where she was.

The pinkette could be in the middle of New York City for all she knew, though she knew that it would most likely be much colder there then where she was now.

Which was the middle of nowhere.

Time to call Ino.

X

"Hello?" A slightly groggy voice answered. Sakura must've woken her friend from a long nap.

She didn't have time to feel guilt, though, because this was an emergancy. "Pig? I have an issue,"

"Sakura!" the pinkette could hear the relief in Ino's voice. Had she really been gone that long? "Where the hell have you been?" The blonde demanded.

"I got kidnapped by the Akatsuki-random, I know-and they tried to drive away with me but I stole their car."

Ino felt tears swell up in her eyes, she's never felt prouder. "That's my girl, so what's the problem-o?"

"I have no fucking idea where I-" Clapping was heard on the other end of the line, then Sakura's shrill voice:

"Hey, put that down!" Something-glass?-crashed and broke on the other line and Ino winced at the noise.

"Sak? Hey, Sak? Can you hear me? Sak? SAKURA?"

_Beep, beep, beep..._

That was it. The signal was disconnected.

"TENTEN!"

X

Sakura glared at the man who had just stolen her phone. He held it in a vice-like grip in his hand, and there would be no getting back for a while.

_**Ugh, this is just what we need. More weird people.**_

_Shhh, I think weird person's talking._

"Hello there, Mizz Haruno, and welcome to _The Door Of Love_!" The man, who was wearing a suspicious top hat and pale face make-up exclaimed. His orange hair was twisted this way and that, the result of overgelling, and he had a sort of mad-clown look to him. The sparkly purple suit didn't exactly detract from that.

_**Safety Rule Numero Uno: Don't talk to creepy clowns.**_

_It's either talk to him or get raped by him. Take you're pick._

_**That's not fair! I can't even see his face under all that make-up!**_

_*sigh*_

_**Wait-how'd he know our name?**_

"Can I help you?" Sakura sked, not moving from her seat in the buggy. From the corner of her mint green eye, she could see that four doors had been set up horizontally in front of her. _Wtf?_

"Actually, mizz, _I _can help _you_!" The creepy clown said.

"Help me what?" Sakura asked skeptically, leaning back in the buggy's leather seat and crossing her arms over her chest.

_This should be good._

_**I heard clown makes a delicious dessert. **_

"I'm going to help you find love." He winked, and Sakura shuttered.

"No thanks." She said, and started to turn the ignition.

"Not zo fazt!" Creeper Clown said, grabbing her hand before she could turn the key.

"Let. Go." Sakura growled. She was in no mood for this.

"Not until you play the game. It'll be fun, even the camera man thinkz zo!" Creeper Clown looked away for a second and waved to some guy holding up a camera. One of the professional ones, not digital.

The camera man reminded Sakura of someone, but she just couldn't put her finger on who it was.

"Zo, will you play?" Sakura nodded, deciding to play along. She was even kind enough to keep inner Sakura's comment about his crappy fake French accent to herself.

"Here iz how it workz," Mr. Clown explained, he took out a pimp cane and used it to point out the different doors.

_**Where the fuck did he pull that from?**_

_I don't want to know. _

Something about this clown was so..._familiar_. And, wait, what was that glinting behind his hair?

"Behind each of these doorz, there iz a different 'type' of man. Az in, badazz, intelectual, and artzy." Creeper Clown told Sakura.

As soon as he said finished that sentence, something clicked inside the pinkette's head. A lightbulb had gone off above her head, per say.

It was suddenly going to be alot harder for Sakura to hold in her laughter.

The clown continued his speech. "If you can figure out which man iz which type, you win a date with the man of your choice, from anyone on the zhow!" Sakura nodded, following him so far.

"You may azk them anything you wizh. Az long az you get them right you get the prize! But you may not open the doorz!" Creeper Clown took a deep breath, and, waving his pimp cane around wildly, shouted "LET THE GAMEZ BEGIN!"

"Wait! Wait!" cried a girly voice. "Oh, I'm just so sorry I'm late!" A 'woman' with long blonde hair with ribbons tied in it came running at them.

"Aw! It'z no problem my dear!" The fake French clown shouted. "Come, come. You're juzt in time!"

Sakura gaped at the 'woman', not because 'she' was ugly or anything, but because of the dress 'she' was wearing. It looked like Orochimaru and the Creeper Clown's love child.

First off, the monstrosity was purple, and Sakura _hated _the color purple. She was so much more of a pink girl. Second of all, it had sequints, which just screamed 'tacky' in her opinion. And third, It was tight and sparkly up top, but the bottom came down in ruffles to mid-thigh, and that was just wrong no matter who was wearing it.

Also, the fact that the 'woman' had rather muscular legs didn't help much. Neither did the clear stripper heals 'she' had on.

"Um...back to the game." the pink-haired girl mumbled, looking back at the doors.

_**Hahahaha! That was priceless! Can you say "blackmail?"**_

_Do _not _make me laugh right now. Not now. _

_But hell to the yeah it was._

Sakura walked up to door number one, red mahogony with a few scuffle marks, and knocked.

"Who's there?" Asked a false-gruff voice.

The pinkette grinned. "It's the big bad wolf!"

Sakura pointed at door number one. "That's the artsy type." she said boredly.

Door number two was black and simple. Sakura knocked.

"Hn." Was the reply.

"Intelectual."

Door number three was brown and thick. It had scratch marks all over it, as if the door had gotten into a rough fight the night before. Sakura knew who it was without even knocking. "Badass."

The Creepy Clown just stared at her, to which Sakura replied "By the way, nice make-up, Pein." She giggled and took a picture with her retrieved phone.

"You too Deidara," Sakura went on gleefully, she took a picture of him too. "Purple is _so _your color!"

Sakura couldn't hold it in any long, she burst out laughing like the maniac she was sure Ino had turned her into.

Pein threw his top hat on the ground and stompted on it. "How did you know?" He demanded.

"I noticed your piercings behing your hair, you knew my name without asking it, and Deidara was kind of obvious." Sakura said, catching her breath. "Itachi, Hidan, and Sasori are behind the doors, aren't they?" Though the pinkette was already positive they were, she just wanted to hear Pein say it.

"...yes..." The clown impersonator mumbled. Sakura smiled victoriously.

"Wait a fucking second...I let you shove a dress and make-up on me for nothing?" Deidara questioned, clearly enraged.

"Don't worry DeiDei, you look beautiful!" The cherry blossom said cheerfully.

"What was the point of this plan anyway?" Sakura asked.

Pein shrugged "Things got boring." He lied easily.

"Sakura...you're gonna delete those pictures, right?" Deidara asked carefully, now wearing a T-shirt and sweatpants.

_**What's up with people and pulling random stuff out of random places today?**_

_Beats me. _

"Are you joking me? This is gonna be my next story for the paper!"

X

_O.o This chapter was so random. But so much fun to write :D_


	13. The Bird & The Worm

**Hot Off The Press**

_**The Bird & The Worm**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**_

"STOP LAUGHING AT MEEEEE!" Pein cried, and Sakura laughed even louder. behind that God complex, she had observed, the orange-haired man was just as mature as her.

Itachi rolled his eyes at the two. "Okay, let's go-"

"Hey!" Sakura yelled, suddenly realizing an important detail. "How did you guys get here?" She asked.

"We took Itachi's car," Kisame said, snickering. "We had no choice." Sasori added.

Sakura wondered what was so funny, but when she saw Itachi's windowless white van she got it. Once she saw what was spray painted on one of the sliding doors, however, she _really _got it.

"F-FREE CANDY!" Sakura shouted, literally rolling on the floor laughing (rofl).

Itachi shot his famous death glare at the pinkette, who simply stood up, brushed herself off, and asked "Who wrote that?"

Itachi's glare intensified ten-fold. "We. Don't. Know." He said through gritted teeth.

Sakura grinned "I'm not going in there until I get my candy."

"Then you're riding with me, Deidara, Tobi, and Hidan in the buggy." Sasori said, still mentally laughing at the image of Deidara in a dress.

"Okay!" Sakura said like a kid who was just asked if she wanted a lollipop.

To herself, Sakura wondered who would've done something like that to Itachi's van.

It was fucking genius.

FLASHBACK!

"Sasuke, are you _sure _this is Itachi's van?" Ino asked. Sasuke nodded, and glared at the blonde as if to say "You think I don't recognize my own brother's pedovan?"

"Okay, Karin, can you and Suigetsu stop making out long enough to help me spray paint the car? The rest of you are lookouts." Ino explained her plan to the gang and Sasuke's odd (but hothothot) friend.

"We weren't making out!" Karin blushed. Tenten snorted. "Yeah, and Ino's not a dumb blonde."

"_BITCH." _Ino hissed. "Keep your voices down!" And with that, the dumb blonde tip-toed over to Itachi's pedovan and began to spray paint a capital 'F' on.

_This'll teach you not to mess with Yamanaka Ino! _She thought, feeling like a fucking ninja the whole time.

FLASHBACK END!

There weren't enough seats in the buggy, so Sakura had to sit on Deidara's lap while Sasori drove.

"Why the fuck can't I drive?" Hidan bitched.

"Because last time you drove, you crashed the car and we had to buy a cheap green punch buggy." Sasori scowled, retelling some event that Sakura wished she had been there to witness.

"That bitch was asking for it! She shouldn't have been insulting Jashin-sama." Hidan huffed and angrily glared out the window.

They drove in silence for a while after that, Sakura looking out the window and Deidara playing with strands of her pink hair.

The pinkette looked up at the hyperactive blonde. He looked so peaceful, so content. Sakura noted how close they were, and that she was blushing. She had a strong urge to do something right then-kiss him?-but ignored it and instead looked down at her fuzzy fake uggs.

"Are you okay? You look like you have a fever, un." Deidara whispered in her hair, making her blush deepen. "I'm fine," The pinkette replied.

Sakura felt someones gaze on her, and looked up to see Hidan staring at her strangely. An idea popped into her pink-frosted head.

"I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYE SOMETHING WHITE!" The pinkette shouted suddenly, remembering the game she used to play in the car with her parents before their divorce.

Hidan smirked "It's my-" He shut up when Sasori glared at him, sending at pointed look at Tobi. The last thing they wanted was to have to explain sex to Tobi, because their life would be hell if he reproduced.

"It's your pants, un." Deidara said.

Sakura looked down, realizing he was right. She was still in the clothes that Hidan had kidnapped her in; baggy white sweatpants and a pink long sleeve t-shirt that read 'Bite Me' in white glitter block letters across the chest. She had borrowed it from Temari.

Sakura's brow furrowed. If this was all she was wearing, why wasn't she cold? It was the middle of winter and they were at a _Ski Resort. _Key word being _SKI. _The pinkette highly doubted that the whole state had been filled with fake snow.

When Sakura looked back out the window, however, she realized there wasn't even a speck of snow on the dirt road they were driving on.

"Hey guys?" The pinkette asked cautiously, knowing that they had something to do with this, but not wanting to hint to them that she knew, because if they knew that she knew what they did then they would have to confess to it, and that was no fun at all.

"Well," Sasori started nervously. "It looks like we're in South Florida." He braced for Sakura's outburst.

"South Florida." She stated, calmly staring out the window. Hidan had seen that look before, it was the calm before the store. The silver-haired slowly inched away from the pink time bomb sitting on Deidara's lap. _Poor bloke. _he thought _Wait,_ _when the fuck did I go British?_

"South Florida..." Sakura repeated, louder this time.

3...2...1...

"WHY THE FUCK ARE WE IN SOUTH FLORIDA? ARE YOU STUPID? I'M SUPPOSED TO BE BACK AT THE RESORT PLAYING TRUTH OR DARE WITH MY GIRLS RIGHT NOW, BUT INSTEAD, I'M DRIVING AROUND FUCKING SOUTH FLORIDA WITH YOU!" She shouted. Sasori thanked Pein that there were no cars on the road right now except for them.

"Take me to an airport." Sakura demanded, glaring at the seat in front of her.

"But-" +

"TAKE ME TO AN AIRPORT."

"Okay..."

"That's what I thought."

X

Approximately thirty-two minutes later, Sakura hopped out of the green buggy and stomped into the closest airport. She still had the emergancy credit card her mom gave her in case something like this happened, and she used it to buy a one-way ticket back to Missouri, where the resort was.

Sakura thanked the ticket lady and sat down to wait for her plane. She flipped open her phone and dialed Ino's number. The call was directed almost instantly to voice mail.

_That's wierd... _Sakura thought.

_**What is?**_

_Ino NEVER turns off her phone. It's her lifeline. _

_**Maybe she's getting some R&R, you ARE at a resort. **_

_Or maybe, she's been abducted by a group of evil ninjas and they plan on sacrificing her to a volcano!_

_**That's definitely possible. **_

"Excuse me miss, but your flight's about to leave." One of the attendees told her. He must have just started working here, because they had him mopping up floors.

"Oh, thanks so much! I guess I just got distracted!" Sakura ran off to go find her flight, and she didn't notice how the boy smirked when she left to go catch 'her' plane.

The boy pushed his nerdy Harry Potter glasses up his nose. "Just a little more time, be patient Orochimaru-sama." he whispered into the small metalic snake he had pinned to his uniform.

"Do what you must, Kabuto, but just get her here quickly." Orochimaru ordered, ending the conversation.

"Hai." And with that, the Harry Potter wannabe walked out of the airport, abandoning the mop and bucket.

X

The camera zooms in a dark wood door, and silence settles in around the scene.

"This is Naruto Uzumaki," The boy holding the camera speaks. "and welcome to, The Ramenator." He whisper-shouted mysteriously, moving in closer to the amazing door.

"We're about to find out why a friend of mine, Ino Yamanaka, has been cooped up inside her room all morning. Now, when we enter, I'm going to ask you not to scream. There could be _anything _in that room." Naruto continued, face now in the picture. He gave the camera a stern look.

"Okay, let's move in."

Naruto backed up a couple steps, and got a firmer grip on Suigetsu's camera. The Ramenator ran at the door and kicked it open; Kung-Fu Panda style.

"HOLY SHIT!" Ino screamed as Naruto came flying (Yes_, flying. _Take that bitches. Eating Ramen **does**give you super powers) into herroom.

Naruto sat up rubbing his head, and saw Ino-completely unharmed-straddling Sai's waist on top of her jumbo-size bed. The pale artist looked unbothered, and stared at his hyperactive friend apathetically.

"Dickless." Sai said in place of hello.

They were suspiciously close, thought Naruto, too close, in fact, for his liking.

Also, Naruto noted as he stood up that he had landed on top of Sai's shirt, which was laying in a crumpled heap on the carpet.

"Sai..." Naruto, mumbled, teary-eyed. "_How could you?_" The blue-eyed boy cried.

Before the Sai could respond, however, Naruto continued.

"I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING, YOU MANWHORE!" Then Naruto Uzumaki ran out of the dimly lit room, crying for his teme.

"What was that all about?" Ino asked, bandaging the rest of Sai's chest. she sighed, it was such a shame to cover up those abs.

"I have no idea, I'll ask Ugly later." Sai decided, wincing as the girl wrapping his wounds tightened the gauze more.

"Where _is _Sakura? I haven't seen her in forever." Ino mused, in the back of her pretty blonde mind, a voice nagged that she was forgetting something _important, _but she dismissed it as paranoia.

"I don't know, but could you be more gentle?" Sai asked bluntly. _Ugly is so much better at this, but she's normally the one who injures me._.. He thought.

"It's your own fault. That's why you should've listened to the ski instructor before bolting down that hill." Ino scolded him. Sai sighed, letting the psycho blonde have her way with him.

X

_XD Sorry, I had to add that last part. It's just for humor, though, so don't freak out on me. Naruto is going to end up with Hina-chan^^ _


	14. She's So High

**Hot Off The Press**

_**She's So High**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**_

"C'mon Orochimaru-sama, we've got a road trip to go on!" Kabuto cheered, skipping ahead of his mentor and into the snake man's _black _pedovan (Take that Itachi).

Orochimaru sighed. His bitch was a little _too_excited for his liking, but the six hour long drive was necessary, as Sakura's plane was landing at an airport two towns away from where he lived.

"This better be worth it." He hissed at Kabuto.

The white-haired dork pulled on a purple hat and T-shirt that read 'Orochimaru and Kabuto's Epic Road Trip,' and said in a sing-song voice "We're gonna be late!"

X

Hidan was furious, not because he had snuck out of the car when Sasori stopped in front of the airport so he could stalk Sakura, who was now nowhere in sight, but because he found out from one of the workers there that she had boarded a plane to Mexico City.

"Dammit!" Hidan yelled, scaring away a group of fangirls who where planning on raping him.

_Why the fuck is she going to Mexico? _Hidan thought hopelessly.

_**Beats me. I didn't even know we where going to Mexico. **_A voice inside his head said.

_Who the fuck are you?_

_**I'm your fucking conscious.**_

_No you're not, I sacrificed my conscious to Jashin-sama years ago. _

_**Well then I'm Jashin-sama. **_

_Holy shit, I didn't know you were a girl!_

_**Well I am, and I'm inside of you.**_

_You're Jashin-sama, alright._

_**Enough with this...um, minion. Go save Sakura! And when you do, fucking ravish that girl. **_

_Yes Jashin-sama! But...I do have one fucking question..._

_**What is it?**_

_Jashin-sama...are you a hot girl?_

_**I'm the fucking love child of Draco Malfoy and Sirius Black. **_

X

_Hey, where did you go?_

_**Just to talk to a friend of mine. Oh, and you might want to ask one of the flight attendants where this plane is going.**_

_Why?_

_**Just do it. **_

"Um...excuse me?" Sakura said to the closest attendant.

"Yes?" The woman asked.

"Where is this flight landing?"

"It's going to Mexico, dear. More accurately, Mexico State." She smiled, leaving Sakura to gape at the air.

_HOLY SHIT!_

_**...I'm gonna take a wild guess and say you're not willing to jump.**_

X

"Where's Sakura?" Ino demanded, stomping up to Pein. The blonde had remembered what she had forgotten and had just now dragged her gang out of bed to go save Sakura.

"On a plane." The Akatsuki's leader told her. Him and his tired gang of sex bombs wanted to enjoy their vacation already.

"_Why _is she on a plane?" Sasuke scowled, letting a little bit of possessiveness leak into his voice.

"Foolish little brother, you lack hatred and are weak, therefore we will not tell you why Sakura is on a plane." Itachi smirked at Tenten, who looked at him quizzically.

"Itachi, that makes no sense." Sasuke said, glaring at his brother's upper back. _Hn. Maybe Tsunade was right about his eyesight..._

Itachi frowned and turned towards his chicken-haired brother's voice. "Foolish little brother, you lack hatred and are weak, therefore we will not tell you why Sakura is on a plane." He repeated his earlier words.

Sasuke flicked him off, knowing Itachi couldn't see the gesture and would get angry over the fact that he hadn't bothered to reply.

"Don't flick me off." An apathetic Itachi said.

Sasuke raised a dark (waxed?) eyebrow. "You can see?"

"No but you are foolish and weak, and therefore predictable." This time, Itachi was turned towards Naruto, who was standing next to Sasuke.

"Hn."

X

_Okay,_Hidan thought, pacing the Airport hallway despite the 'Wet Floor' sign that stood proudly behind him. _If the pink bitch is going to Mexico, then I have to follow her. That's what fucking stalkers do, right?_

Hidan marched towards the ticket booth, target in mind, only to slip on the soaked marble floor.

"FUCK!"

X

_**Ouch, face first. That must've been painful. **_

_Huh?_

_**Pikachu, I choose you!**_

_Are you stupid or something? Everyone knows you should never use an electric type on a rock type!_

_**It worked in that one episode...**_

_Well, your name isn't Ash Ketchum, now is it?_

_**Shut up and go back to sleep.**_

X

"_WHAT? _My dearest cherry blossom is on a plane to Mexico!" Rock Lee cried after receiving the horrid news from one of the ninjas he hired to keep an eye on Sakura for him.

Well, there was only one thing to do about this, Lee thought. _Nobody _was allowed to steal away the Green Beast of Konoha's bitch.


	15. Mon Amour

**Hot Off The Press**

_**Mon Amour**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**_

_So...we're in Mexico. Now what?_

_**Let's go buy a sombrero!**_

_Can you be serious for ONE SECOND?_

_**Fine. Just buy a ticket back.**_

_That's a good idea, but what-_

"Hello, Sakura-chan." Said a creepy voice behind her. The pinkette slowly turned around to face...

"Orochimaru-sensei? What are you doing here?" Sakura asked, confused as to why her chemistry teacher was in front of her. Didn't sunlight, like, burn him or something?

"I came to kidnap and torture you." Oro-chan said boredly. Sakura gaped at him.

` _He can't be serious! What did I ever do to him?_

_**I think he is! Time for us to split!**_

_Huh?_

_**Run girl. RUN. USE THE FORCE!**_

Sakura sprinted as fast as should could away from Orochimaru. She ran into the nearest elevator and starting pressing random buttons.

"C'mon, go, go, go!" The pink-haired girl screamed, scared out of her mind. The elevator finally started moving up, just as Orochimaru caught up to Sakura and slipped into the cabin with her.

_**HOLY SHIZ!**_

"Hello, Sakura." Orochimaru smiled a creepy smile, one that would put Pein's clown impression to shame.

"Why are you following me?" Sakura asked bluntly. She cursed herself for being so careless, it could be the death of her one day.

"Because you've insulted someone very close to me." The snake man hissed, trying to make a grab at Sakura.

The petite girl quickly dodged, and the elevator abruptly stopped and snapped open. Sakura barrelled forward, and Orochimaru moved out of the way. She ran as fast as she could through the hallway, passing shops and restaurants as she did so.

_**Remember what I told you about the sombrero?**_

_Yeah..._

_**There's a shop coming up. It would make a good disguise. **_

Sakura stopped at the nearest souvenir shop. She quickly bought a sombrero and mustache to hide her face and threw her credit card at the cashier.

"Hurry up!" She yelled. The man who was ringing up her stuff said something in Mexican. Sakura didn't understand him so she just grabbed her stuff and started sprinting again.

The pinkette made it all the way to the top floor before she bumped into something hard, something _breathing..._

"Ouch! What the fuck is with you and hurting me?" Hidan asked, glaring down at Sakura's shaking form.

"Hey, what the fuck happened to you. You look like you just saw a motherfucking ghost." The silver-haired man said. He helped the pinkette get back up to her feet, and watching her pick up her sombrero and put it back on.

"Are you gonna fucking explain?" Hidan asked impatiently. Sakura hid behind him, wrapping her thin arms around his waist.

"O-Orochimaru is after me," Sakura said, nervously glancing around the floor they were on.

Hidan couldn't stand seeing his pinkette so afraid. He promised himself he was going to beat the crap out of whoever made her shake like they.

"Well, let's go find the bastard." He said, prying Sakura's arms off of him and trowing her on his back.

"Hold on tight." Hidan instructed. The cherry blossom nodded.

X

The Akatsuki hopped out of the plane they had jumped on last minute after Hidan called them and told them where he was.

"So now what, un?" Deidara asked Pein, who instructed them all to get in there and find Sakura.

"Tobi will save Sakura, because Tobi is actually a ninja!"

X

"Awwww, Kabuto, look who showed up." Oro-chan smirked, looking at his next two victims evilly.

"Shut the hell up you weird-ass snake!" Hidan shouted, getting riled up.

He and Orochimaru stood a few feet away from each other. The entire floored had cleared up when people noticed the two. A dust ball rolled around the dusty wood floor between them.

"Why the fuck are you chasing after Sakura?" Hidan demanded hotly.

"Like I said before, she hurt someone close to me." Orochimaru said, then he lunged at Hidan.

_I can't let him get hurt because of me!_

Sakura jumped in front of her silver-haired savior, and kung-fu kicked at Oro-chan blindly. The next thing that was heard was a loud _crack!_

_**Did we hit him?**_

_I dunno. I'm afraid to look._

"Damn, pinky." Hidan said, blinking. "Who knew you could fight."

Sakura looked up to see Orochimaru, writhing in pain on the ground. He was clutching his...yeah.

The pinkette smiled at the sight, that's what he got for messing with Haruno Sakura.

"Father! Father!" An all to familiar voice shouted from the back of the room. Rock Lee was running towards the group, and Sakura wondered what the fuck was going on.

"Father! Are you alright?" Lee shouted, crouching down next Orochimaru. "What did they do to you?"

"I'm sorry, son," Oro-chan smiled sadly. "I did...my best...for you." And then Orochimaru went unconscious, leaving Rock Lee to stare at him in shock.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Rock Lee cried, dropping down to his nees and staring up at the ceiling.

Sakura looked over at Hidan. "Let's never talk about this again, okay?"

The siver-haired man nodded "That's a fucking relief." He said, and then remembered something.

"Oh yeah! Pinky, come here!" Hidan shouted.

"What?" Sakura asked. Her question was answered when Hidan grabbed her roughly by the back of her head and kissed her.

Sakura let her hands get tangled in his super-gelled hair. And Hidan's tongue battled for dominance with hers.

With all this happening, you could say the akatsuki were a bit surprised to walk in on the scene.

"What the fuck, un?" Deidara asked stupidly.


	16. Accidentally In Love

**Hot Off The Press**

_**Accidentally In Love**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. **_

"Forehead! Hurry it up!" Ino yelled at me through the bathroom door. I thanked Jashin that she wasn't strong enough to break it down, because if she was all of my gang would see me in all my naked glory.

I pulled on the dress Ino had insisted I wear, and finally opened the door. There was a hushed silence as I stepped onto the plush vanilla carpet in my strappy heels. I took advantage of the moment by getting a look at what Ino had forced the rest of my girls into.

Tenten's dark brown hair was stick-straight and middle parted. It cascaded down her back beautifully and left a few stray pieces to frame her face. She had on a tight brown satin dress with embriodery across the waistband. I inwardly smirked, Neji wouldn't be able to take his eyes off her.

Naruto had asked Hinata to go with him, and she was wearing a purple cocktail dress that was ruffled at the bottom and went down to her nees. There was a rinestown bow pinned at the hip of the dress, and her dark purple hair was pulled into an elegant bun.

Temari wore a stunning silver dress that brought out her eyes. It had a crystal snowflake pinned underneath the bust and the bress flowed out to her nees from there. Sakura noted with satisfaction that the harsh blonde had her arm linked with Shikamaru's.

Ino was holding Sai's had, and for some reason I caught Naruto glaring at the pair. She had let her long blonde hair out of it's pony tail and it now tumbled across her blue satin halter dress. The ties around her neck were incrusted with sparkling rhinestones.

I looked over at Karin, only to see she was studying my dress as well. She smirked at me, which I knew meant she thought Ino had done a good job dressing me up. Karin was, surprisingly, standing next to Suigetsu and wearing a high neck black lace dress. It fit her perfectly.

"Well, forehead, I have to say I outdid myself." Ino said smugly, I raised an eyebrow at her. "You look amazing. I told you that was the perfect dress." She explained.

"Thanks," I said sincerely. Ino _had _been right, not only about the dress, but she was also spot on about what to do with my pink locks.

The pig had loosely curled my hair, and it tumbled down my back and front in soft strawberry-scented waves. I had on a pale pink empire waist dress, the light chiffon fabric floated down to about mid-thigh, with a few longer pieces spread out around the hem. The waistband was sprinkled with pink rhinstones, and the thin spaghetti straps had just enough hold for my chest.

"We should get going now," Hinata said in her soft voice. Me and her had become quite close, and she didn't even stutter anymore.

"Alright, to the ballroom!" Ino annouced, and strutted out of the room runway-style. I followed her out, honestly looking forward to the Hyuuga's annual Christmas pary.

X

I was sitting on the bed in the suit next to the ballroom, trying to catch my breath after Ino had forced me onto the dance floor with every guy that asked. I had finally slipped out of her clutches and made it to this suit, my latest safe haven.

The door creaked open and I looked up to meet Itachi's charcoal black eyes. He stared at me for a moment, then his face broke out into a messy smirk.

"Hey Sakura," He said, sauntering towards me. Itachi plopped down on the bed next to me, close enough so that I could smell the beer scent on him.

"You're smashed." I pointed out stupidly. He just smirked at me some more.

_**This was a gift from Jashin. It would be a crime not to rape him!**_

_Uh, no._

"Thanks for noticing," Itachi breathed, leaning closer to me. He pushed me back against the bed and put both hands on either side of me, preventing escape.

"Um...Itachi?" I asked nervously. I felt like a mouse who was cornered by a cat.

"Yes?" He asked, nuzzling my neck.

"Can you get off me?"

"No," Itachi said bluntly. He kissed up my neck and to my jawline, finally hitting my lips and catching them in a heated kiss.

Itachi's tongue forced a reaction out of mine, fighting and easily beating it, causing me to moan into his mouth.

I suddenly pushed him off of me, taking a deep breath before sitting up. Kissing Itachi and had left me dizzy.

"Something wrong?" He asked, sounding genuinly concerned.

"It just..." I started, wondering how to put this. Hurting Itachi was the last thing I wanted to do. "

"I can take it." The dark-haired man said.

_**It's like he knew what we were thinking. **_

_Maybe he did O.o_

"It's just...this" I motioned at him and me "Doesn't feel right."

That was the truth. I couldn't kiss Itachi because my head kept wondering away from me to some unknown place. I had unconciously started to fall for someone, and I didn't even know who.

Itachi leaned back on his palms, staring at me casually. "It's okay," he suddenly smirked "But..."

He leaned in and whisped something in my ear, making my face flush wildly.

"Really?" I asked, not completely believing him.

Itachi nodded, and pushed me off the bed. "Go!"

I grinned at him, and sped out of the suite and back into the ballroom. There, standing under the mistletoe looking amazing in his suit and tie, was the boy I had somehow fallen in love with.

He spotted me and waved, I took that as an invitation.

"Hey," I breathed, staring up at his.

"Hey," He grinned back, looking into my eyes.

"We're under the mistletoe." I stated, glancing up at it.

"I know," He said, and I could tell he was nervous because he had dropped the 'un.'

Deidara leaned down and kissed me, for the second time, softly on the lips. I don't know how long we stood there, kissing under the mistletoe. But I do know it was a long time, because when we finally broke apart, the party had ended and my girls had all left with their dates.

**Six Years Later**

"You may now, kiss the bride!" The priest annouced, and Deidara wasted no time. He dipped Sakura and kissed her passionately on the lips, getting the familiar shock of pleasure when she returned the kiss.

"I now pronouce you, man and wife!" The priest said as Deidara scooped Sakura up bridal style. They made their way down the aisle, people throwing rice at them as they did so.

Ino wiped her eyes. "It feels like only yesterday I was dressing her up for prom." She gushed like a proud mother. Tenten, one of the bridemades, took Sakura's Made Of Honor's hand. "She all grown up now," she said.

Hinata nodded. "At least she found someone nice." The dark-haired girl said, watching Hidan throw a ball of rice right at deidara's head.

"Everyone say cheese!" Pein shouted, snapping a picture of all the chaos. Right as the camera clicked, Hidan's ball of rice hit it's target, making Deidara loose his grip on Sakura, and the pinkette's shoe to go flying into Zetsu's stomach.

"Sorry Zetsu!" Sakura said as she was handed back her strappy white heel.

"No harm no foul." The green-haired man grinned, surprising them all.

Pein snapped another picture, catchinf the moment while he could. Everything was as it should be, he thought, as Konan came up to him in her bridesmade dress and kissed him on his cheek.

Life couldn't possibly get better than this, but judging by the ring on the blue-haired girl's fourth finger, it definitely would.


End file.
